


Forced To Let Go

by ConsignToOblivion



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Based on season 7 episode Run, Emily Leaving Team, F/F, F/M, First Angst Story, First Jemily Fic, Heartbreak, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Cheating, JJ and Emily, Jemily - Freeform, first fic in a long time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27520258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsignToOblivion/pseuds/ConsignToOblivion
Summary: Emily had enough after the bank robbery not able to handle what happens with Doyle became her trigger and what made her consider wanting to move but what became her trigger and helped her make the decision was being forced to see the love of her life walk down the aisle in the arms of someone else.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this inspired by the episode Run from Season 7. This is my first Jemily story as well as Angsty story.  
> Fair Warning: rough draft so possible bad grammar I'll clean it up later I just really wanted to get this story idea out there :)  
> Hope you enjoy and I apologize in advance if is bad 😅 So Sorry is too long I thought it was shorter.

**Emily’s Apartment**

Emily walked numbly into her apartment early in the evening. She had just got back from working the local case which happens to be a bank robbery case. She didn’t exactly enjoy the case but it made her realize just how badly she needed to get away. Besides the bank exploding near her, trying to solve the difficult case and saving the victims, she had to save none other than Will which to her felt like an insult to injury. Things with JJ haven’t exactly been all that great and perhaps that was her fault but she could hardly be blamed. Her and JJ were the best of friends technically they were past being best of friends at this point they were lovers.

JJ had been the first person who welcomed her into the team, the first person who treated her like an equal and made her feel welcoming. Emily fell for her the moment she laid eyes on her, Emily knew she was screwed the moment JJ smiled brightly at her and shook her hand. Maybe all along Emily read too much into it but the small smiles and the light blushes the lingering touches that accompanied them when they started getting closer and becoming best friends. Emily and JJ hung out often but what caused Emily to confirm her feelings was after they shared a room for the first time and began having intimate conversations Emily was casual when JJ mentioned dating other women and told the younger woman that she dated and been with women since is her preference. Emily had studied the thoughtful look JJ carried but it wasn’t brought up again at least not until months later where it was followed by a kiss.

Emily should have tried harder to resist but she couldn’t help it by that time Emily knew she was in love but knew she would never come forward first and express her feelings first. For one she hadn’t wanted to get hurt and two she didn’t know how JJ felt for her whether it was her experimenting or her actually having feelings for her and wanting more. Safe to say she now knows exactly what JJ feels for her as well what this whole seven plus years were to the woman she considers a best friend. Nothing more than an experimentation, something to get her curiosity out of her system. Emily felt her heart shatter at the idea that to JJ all this time it wasn’t anything more than an experiment.

Emily walked into her kitchen shaking the thought out of her head and grabbed her bottle of wine, a wine glass and sat in her living room filling her cup not even bothering to turn the lights on. What was the point? The darkness around her for once it felt welcoming and it fit her depressing mood. Her heartbreak, betrayal and loneliness. The feelings once alienating to her she now welcomed it like a second skin, this no longer felt like home to her.

“Maybe I really am meant to be alone.” Emily grumbled to herself as she filled her glass

But her thought wandered again as she took her first large gulp of wine back to the blonde and Emily hated herself for even thinking about her but she couldn’t help it. Emily was in love with the blonde despite the heartbreak she was currently nursing. After that one kiss JJ and Emily ended up having sex casually at first but it became frequent especially when they shared a room or JJ stayed over. Emily’s hopes started to grow the more they hung out together believing things might lead to more but it never did so Emily waited patiently which slowly became hopeless when they went to New Orleans and saw JJ spend a little too much time with that detective Will which lo and behold the two ended up secretly dating so Emily ended her whatever it was with JJ which became hopeless when the blonde showed up in Emily’s old apartment questioning why she was distant.

Emily got confused until JJ pointed out why they weren’t hanging out like they use to until Emily felt offended letting JJ know that they can’t have sex because she is with Will. JJ obviously got offended and stated nothing was serious to say Emily ended up having angry sex was understatement if JJ’s loud reactions was anything to go by but much to her own frustration neither bothered to stop their casual sex. Even after Doyle came back when they were in Paris the two were going at it but now that Doyle was dead and things were going back to normal Emily just couldn’t do it. She felt broken, confined in her own skin and felt alone. She just didn’t feel the same anymore so two weeks ago she ended up confronting JJ about it. Emily couldn’t handle being someone else's dirty little secret. Being someone else's secret fling. A second choice. Even if that person was JJ who she loved.

Emily loved JJ. She fell in love with her, her bright personality, compassion, kindness, her beautiful smile to match all her beauty. JJ was Emily’s light. Emily’s ange. Even then Emily couldn’t be second best to Will so she had confronted JJ about it.That led to a heavy discussion and JJ’s last words before Emily promptly left JJ’s hotel room during the Oregon satanic ritual case broke and shattered Emily into millions of pieces. Not only that but it only proved that the blonde didn’t feel the same way despite JJ’s countless reminders but Emily just didn’t feel it.

************************************************************************************

**_Flashback_ **

**_Oregon-JJ’s Hotel room_ **

_Emily tried to hold back her tears as she looked away from JJ and out the window as a form of distraction. She knew if she looked at JJ she'd break down. She wondered why she even bothered coming to the hotel room to bring up what they were or even ask if they could be more. She assumed JJ felt the same way.They have been secretly having sex for years now so she just assumed the feelings were mutual. Emily herself tried several times to stop it due to JJ and Will but the blonde didn’t seem to think so saying that it was okay as long as no one found out which made Emily slightly uncomfortable but ignored it. She had been content with at least having JJ in some form so they continued. Emily got the courage to talk to JJ about it, to ask her what they were and if they can be something more. Although Emily wasn’t outright with the last request knowing it was a bad idea so instead she hinted it in a way that can be brushed off quickly._

_To say it was a mistake was an understatement because they began to talk about their feelings and JJ reassuring Emily how much she loved her but and wanted to be with her but couldn’t according to JJ she couldn’t hurt Will or do that to him which baffled Emily due to the fact that she technically was going behind his back but Emily didn’t voice it instead she looked away. Granted when Emily began to see how close JJ and Will were becoming due to Emiliy’s request she had insisted on them not sleeping as often the only times they did was when they were overwhelmed from a case or spontaneous but spread out in actuality Paris was the last time they were in bed together. JJ tried a few times but Emily refused now glad she put her foot down because here she was standing in the blondes hotel room getting her heart broken on top of everything else she is going through right now._

_“Emily please say something.” JJ asked her voice cracking trying to contain her own emotions heartbroken over having hurt her best friend_

_“I’m not asking you to leave him, he is your safety net, comfort. What you’re expected to marry and spend all your life with. I would never ask you to leave him. I just needed to know if I had a shot. A chance. If you would have given us a chance but I know what sacrifices that made JJ I’ve been out for most of my life now remember,” Emily told her shaking her head feeling hurt and betrayed, “Those times JJ, the intimacy I will always cherish them. You know I love you dearly Jayje, but at the end of the day after we have sex I look beside me to find the side of the bed meant to be yours cold andempty. I wished to have you wake up beside me every morning, wrap my arms around you and hold you while you fix yourself coffee in the morning and I whisper I love you. Take you out on dates, show you the world because you deserve that and more. All this sneaking around I realise now I can’t anymore. I can’t do it anymore. Especially not after everything that has happen.” Emily turned away from JJ barely able to contain her own tears._

_JJ's eyes become glassy from the unshed tears, “I’m sorry Emily. I love you. I truly love you and wished to be with you but I can't. I don’t want to hurt Will and I can’t make that kinda commitment. I’m so sorry Emily.” JJ whispered between sobs_

_Emily shook her head with a sigh and walked away with an indifferent shrug but paused to squeeze JJ’s shoulder as a form of letting her know that they aren’t any hard feelings despite her shattered heart._

_“It’s fine JJ I wasn’t expecting you to and I knew what your answer would be but I can’t continue sleeping with you either. It isn’t fair for me or Will. I care about you Jayje and don’t worry this wont fuck up us working together or our friendship just pretend we didn’t have this conversation is for the best.” Emily told her as she opened the door and walked away._

*******************************************************************************

**Emily’s Apartment**

Emily shook the memory away and got up from her chair and walked to the bedroom putting down the now half empty bottle of wine and dropped on her bed curling into a ball and sobbed uncontrollably no longer able to contain her heartbreak anymore. What was the point after years of giving someone all your love and them not even bothering to give it back. Emily remembered all the touches, kisses, caresses and whispers of effections they’ve shared. Waking up beside each other in their shared hotel rooms the rare times they get to share a hotel feeling content and happy to wake up beside the woman she loved than realising those are the only times they wake up together and her heart would ache at all over again. Emily wondered if Doyle was right all along. His whispering words hunting her whispering how she’ll never have the woman she loves and will end up alone with no one. Emily's body shook remembering the painful stab wound and equally painful branding mark that she still had on her. She was going to get the blackbird tattoo but now just the thought brought out more heartache. She’s going to get it but will have to wait until she wasn’t hurting which was worse she hated the brand mark.

What made it worse was fate slapping her in the face by forcing her to save Will. At the end of the day she ended up saving him for JJ’s and Henry’s sake not even for Will’s sake since Emily never found him interesting and found him slightly boring but she didn’t know what JJ saw in him. Saving him was Emily’s tipping point. Emily’s breaking point was what led her into drinking half a bottle of wine was the text she received from Garcia letting her know what Will proposed to JJ and she said yes. Emily knew that was an impulsive request for marriage and knew it was JJ who requested it and that hurt the most especially when Emily knew JJ never wanted to marry him. Emily secretly knows she pushed JJ to him and hates herself with passion for it. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be here and see them together anymore. What's worse in two days they are going to say ‘ _I do'_. Two days if that didn’t scream rushed wedding before she changed her mind then Emily wasn’t sure what did.

Emily laid in her bed for what seemed like hours, her bedroom as dark as the rest of her apartment sobbing every time she thought she was getting it under control another fresh wave of tears fell and another heavy sob broke out of her causing her to sob even harder. Until her body tired itself out and she ended up crying herself to sleep. A few lone tears flowing out of her eyes even when she slept, her shoulders tense and body curled up as if attempting to protect herself from her own heartache.

********************************************************************************************

**Next Morning**

Emily stirred awake not sure how long she was asleep let along. She sat up feeling a headache but didn’t care. Emily woke up worse than when she was the night before. Memories of the night before coming back to her quickly, the case, Emily’s call from Clyde, the discussion she had with JJ weeks before, Emily distancing herself somewhat from the blonde. She still went to team gatherings and the girls nights but she no longer let JJ sleep over nor did she linger back when they were parting ways. Now any time Garcia calls to go home Emily leaves with her or quickly after but now Emily realized she couldn’t do it anymore. Emily felt broken she couldn’t have this life back. Doyle took her life from her, taking it back like nothing and going back like nothing happened made her realize that he destroyed that for her. Emily realized now that the only thing that kept her here was also taken from her and she no longer had a chance with. 

JJ was the only thing that kept her here. The hope that they can be together but now that is gone too. Emily stuck around hoping that she still had a chance to be with JJ especially after the conversation they had in Paris where JJ promised they’ll meet again and even hinted at them being official and her giving Emily a chance. Emily grabbed her phone and texted Clyde letting him know she accepted the offer and will fly to London the following evening. Now all Emily had to do is take today is back her suitcases book a flight. She didn’t have to worry about the furniture since she could pay the landlord to get rid of it. 

Emily didn’t think she just pulled out all her suitcases and began the slow process of packing her bags.

  
“Come on Emily…. Don’t think about it just pack and leave don’t look back.” Emily told herself


	2. Good-Byes and Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily takes in her team before she leaves. Morgan and Reid realizes something is up with Emily. JJ realizes who her heart truly belongs too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a One-Shot but it grew to long so I cut it into two parts :) I apologize for any errors in my writing I speed write I'll clean up any errors later on I just really wanted to get this out.  
> This is my trial fic more to come soon if this one turns out good.

*****************************************************************************************************

Two Days Later

Day of Wedding

Emily had arrived at the wedding a little late. It hurt too much to come and watch the woman she loved marry someone else and knowing she probably essentially pushed them together. Just the thought made her heart clench heavily. The other reason why she was late was because she technically didn’t have anything to wear since she packed all her belongings and put them in the trunk of her car. She had already given her landlord the keys to the apartment before she drove to the wedding. Her intentions were to come for the ceremony and sneak away and leave as soon as it was over, not able to bear to be there any longer let alone say goodbye to anyone.

  
Emily had gone to the bar to drink a little and be away from everyone only for Morgan to catch up unfortunately for her the man had been extremely observant since he had noticed how quiet and closed off she was after talking to him she confessed about her leaving much to his disappointment and Hotch popping up trying to talk her out of it but she shook her head stating she had already made the decision looking away and walking away but both men knew it was much more they where profilers they knew something else was driving Emily to pack up and leave but they didn’t pressure her. Instead they both made a point in making her final night with them worthwhile and memorable even though Emily doubted anything could cheer her up but nodded smiling not wanting to disappoint them.

  
The wedding ceremony started without delay and JJ walked down the aisle. Emily watched her walk down the aisle and Emily couldn’t look away. Emily thought JJ looked breathtakingly beautiful, she looked like an angel in her white dress and she couldn’t look away. The dress hugged her figure perfectly and her hair styled to perfection but what snapped her out of it was the smile. Emily saw JJ give Will the happiest smile she has given anyone and that broke Emily all over again but she pushed it back. When JJ walked past Emily, Emily made sure not to meet JJ’s eyes instead she looked at Will’s direction and didn’t help but roll her eyes slightly. She looked around making sure no one noticed and was relieved when no one did. Emily after sat through the long ceremony and watched them say their final I do. After the priest asked if anyone objected and no one did despite the fact that Emily loved her but she wouldn’t be cruel despite the outcome. During that minute paused Emily caught JJ looking at her and Emily’s eyes flashed with pain but hid it instead Emily looked down and away pretending to look to see if anyone would object. 

**********************************************************************************************

The reception party began quickly after, it had started a bit ago and Emily began walking around watching her team. Her now ex-team danced and partied the night away, celebrating JJ and Will now husband and wife’s wedding. It was at this moment that she decided to leave. Seeing them dancing smiling happily made Emily wonder why she did after so many times JJ expressed that she couldn't see herself marrying Will. Emily herself found the man slightly controlling given how he forced JJ to tell the rest of the team that they were officially even threatening to break up over it and on top of that forcing JJ to tell the team about the pregnancy and even telling them himself when she wasn’t ready. Emily knew he made her happy but some of his behaviors unnerved Emily and she secretly had hoped JJ would choose to be with her but she knew it would never happen despite their fling and quite frankly she wasn’t surprised.

  
Emily watched Garcia dancing with Morgan, Hotch dancing with Beth and Rossi with Strauss. JJ dancing with Will. Emily walked near a tree and her eyes suddenly locked with JJ, Emily could see the look of regret and apologetic and Emily’s eyes betrayed how heartbroken she was. Emily simply walked on mouthing out congratulations, eyes more on Will than at JJ. Emily didn’t want to make JJ feel bad at her wedding so she locked eyes one more time to see JJ mouthing out an apology and Emily despite herself gave a single curt nod at her as a way of telling her it was fine and it didn’t matter. She made sure she kept up a mask of calm and indifference all the while she pretended she was happy and enjoying herself. Despite feeling led on and hurt she was actually happy for JJ but at the same time she just couldn’t express it at the moment. Although Emily knew that JJ could see through the fake smile and sudden professional nod, JJ has seen her use it too many times it was the same indifferent professional nod she gave anyone she meets while working cases or even anyone her mother introduces her.

At this point Emily had to keep her distance and stay far from her best friend and being indifferent was the only way they thought she could. As well as running away Emily seems to be a pro at doing that too.

Emily walked to her table to grab another drink when she felt someone tap her shoulder. Looking over her shoulder to find Morgan staring intensely at her with a knowing look beside him was Spencer.

  
“What’s up guys?” Emily questioned

Morgan glanced at Spencer than at Emily, “I was going to talk to you.”

“Same, us coming here at the same time is a coincidence although I have to say Emily doesn't think I haven’t noticed.” Spencer told her eyebrow raised

  
Emily gulped nervously wondering what he was talking about. She knew he wasn’t aware of her leaving since it was a last minute thing and she has been very subtle when it came down to her crush on JJ not to mention her relationship with the blonde or lack of relationship.

  
“Emily I saw the look you gave JJ just now and could read right through it and no I wasn’t profiling. If that look doesn’t scream I’m not happy for you than I don’t know what is also I noticed a few months now how distance you’ve been with here you only talk to her professionally when it involves cases and when she wants to have a casual conversation you either pretend you're interested or make an excuse and walk away.” Spencer explained worried

“I have noticed as well Prentiss. Tell us what’s really going on with you. I know you went through a lot and this is something that’s much more than.” Morgan told her arms crossed

“Ugh what did I say about profiling.” Emily told them irritated

“It wasn’t profiling Emily. You’re in love with her. Emily why didn’t you ever told her even before she meet him.” Reid tone was frantic and changed to disappointment at the last part of his sentence as if the idea of Emily never telling JJ was devastating to him

Emily froze and immediately flushed shaking her head, “Whatttt no what gave……..me and JJ? Nooo...we never…… I mean….” Emily stuttered but paused sighing taking a deep breath, “What I mean to say is nothing is going on between JJ and I.”

  
Morgan shook his head, not impressed by her excuse and Spencer rolled his eyes but his eyes shone in amusement.

  
“Emily who are you trying to fool, I’m a bisexual man I can tell you’re gay from a mile away and JJ is as closited as they come and I know you too secretly slept together so I’ll asked again. Why didn’t you ever tell her, you know if you needed help I could have helped anything to get you two together.” Spencer explained crossing his arms equally disappointed

  
Emily’s jaw dropped for a moment shocked but sighed knowing they caught her and there was no way to lie to them and it would be nice to tell someone about it for a change.

  
“Okay fine I’ll tell you and I didn’t knew you where bisexual. How did I miss it?” Emily questions suspiciously

Reid laughed shaking his head and Morgan chuckled, “Emily I don’t exactly try to hide it you know. I didn’t just went to see my friend play you know.” 

“Oh…….OHHH.. Go Reid.” Emily cheered earning a blush from the man

“You’re evasive Emily.” Morgan pointed out and Emily sighed

“Fine… long story short JJ and I had something going on for years even while JJ was with Will. I tried to stop it a few times but when things got serious between them I stopped it somewhat I only agreed to be with her a few times feeling it wrong. In Paris she stayed a while with me until I recovered and during that time we talked a lot she told me Will had proposed a few times and she refused him. She told me he isn’t the type she would marry and would never marry him. I asked her about her type and she told me she would rather date me and give me a chance… she even promised we can date when Doyle was captured we can start dating.” Emily told them sounding sad looking down

Both men looked at Emily worried but confused. They both looked at each other and thought the same thing. If JJ was willing to be with Emily what happened? They both looked back at JJ and Will dancing and back at Emily.

  
“What happened? That could be you there not him. Nothing against Will but between us three I rather see you and her there.” Morgan told Emily

“I second that.” Reid stated smiling brightly

Emily smiled weakly at them, “She changed her mind a few weeks ago during the Oregon worshiping ritual case I told her and asked rather what we were. Anyways she told me she can’t leave Will and cant hurt him… well more like tell me she cannot bear to hurt him. She also said she isn’t ready for that commitment or the consequences that came with it whatever that means….” Emily shrugged. Reid gave Emily a sad look out of all the reasons that was the last thing he was expecting and all Morgan did was shake his head frowning, also surprised and baffled.

  
“So she didn’t love you back? She could have fooled us don’t think we didn’t know about you two but none of us said anything because it wasn’t our business and you never got in the way of work.” Morgan pointed out

“That’s not important anymore… She is married now I have to get over her that’s why I have to get away… Guys are alright, it was nothing but a fling between friends. Friends with benefits but I put an end to it completely weeks ago.” Emily told them shaking her head

“Wait! Leave what do you mean leave.” Reid squeaked surprised

“Sorry Reid but I’m leaving for London. I was offered a position to be director of Interpol and I took it… I wasn’t going to but I have to get away…. I….is not the same after Doyle I would have stuck around but after what happened a few weeks ago and now this I really need to leave I already gave up my apartment and packed but I wasn’t going to leave without at least saying goodbye to you Reid I was actually going to go tell you before I leave in a twenty minutes.” Emily promised

Reid looked at her sad and put out but nodded, “I understand Emily, I would want to get away for a while too if I was in your shoes.” 

  
Emily hugged them promising to keep in touch; they then pulled her to dance which earned a real laugh for the first time in weeks. After Morgan winked and went to distract everyone alone with Reid while Emily snuck away but not before Hugging Rossi and whispering her goodbye to him. He was saddened but nodded understanding and she took advantage and walked away looking back one last time. The team was all dancing and partying Morgan and Reid doing a really good job keeping everyone occupied and distracted so none of them even noticed she was gone. JJ was holding Will tightly smiling brightly which made Emily frown saddened the ache coming back full force making her eyes water.

  
“Bye JJ. Despite how things turned out I’ll always love you.” Emily whispered one last time to herself staring longingly at JJ’s direction before walking to her car and driving off to the airport.

  
An hour later Emily sat at the airplane drained but she could never sleep in an airplane the days events catching up to her but she knew there was no turning back and she had to get away from it all. She wondered how it was that Doyle single handedly took everything from her yet it was JJ’s wedding that became the last straw. A lone tear fell from her eyes, feeling the plane taking off.

  
Is for the best Emily. You have to forget her, she chose Will. Emily thought over and over again trying to remind herself.

  
“Forgetting someone as special as JJ is the hard part.” Emily sighed softly looking out the night sky watching the lights of the city fade into the distance.

****************************************************************************

After the Wedding Reception

  
JJ looked around once she and the team finished cleaning up Rossi’s yard after cleaning they hung out for a while but JJ spent it thinking about Emily wondering where she was. JJ and Will an hour after it was all over drove home with Will originally they where suppose to go to a hotel to essentially have sex a couple but JJ wasn’t up telling Will another time but her mother had overheared and had none of it forcing her too thrilled to have her daughter finally marry what she described as an exemplary man who she always dreamed her daughter to marrying and JJ felt a wave of guilt thinking of Emily suddenly wondering if the wedding was a good idea when she knew who she truly loved was Emily.

She hasn’t seen Emily since they shared that look which hasn’t left her mind all night. She had a really bad feeling about it and she really wanted to talk to Emily and maybe straighten things she didn’t want to lose her best friend but something Reid said struck out just now that she couldn’t help but wonder if he was right. He had told her privately how sometimes during life and death situations is not wise to make major deciduous because you have the tendency of regretting them later on, that is why experts always say to wat twenty-four to forty-eight hours once the adrenaline is gone before making any decision and is worse if someone you care about nearly dies. What had unnerved JJ was the way Reid looked at her square in her eyes as they danced and said what he said to her made her heart drop but before she could ask they stopped dancing and went back to where Morgan and Garcia where and Rossi took over to dance with her.

  
“JJ I understand you almost lost the father of your son and want him around for Henry and to give him a family having him grow up with both parents close but why the sudden chance specially when you rejected the proposal so many times. Jayje as your friend and the godfather of your son know that experts say that you shouldn’t make big decisions like this as soon as you face extreme traumatic events or life and death situations you tend to regret them later.” Reid stated while spinning her gently

JJ looked confused at him, “What are you saying Spencer that I made a mistake marrying the father of my child who I love?” JJ looked baffled at him

Spencer shook his head at JJ, “There’s a difference between Loving someone and being in love with someone JJ for example I love you but as a sister I’m not in love with you romantically. They’re many different kinds of love JJ siblings, paternal, and you can love someone enough to procreate but not truly love them deeply in love with them.” Spencer spun them both gracefully while spinning JJ and catching her meeting JJ’s wide surprised eyes with his own knowing ones which JJ found unnerving. 

JJ furrowed her eyebrows confused, “What’s w…”

Spencer interrupted her, his tone gently and kind, “I know more than I let on and all I can say is is stability, comfort, and the obvious choice and family expectations really worth losing the person you’re truly in love with because trust me by the time you figure it out it’ll be to late and it is to late you said your i do to the obvious choice who had already giving up asking content with not marrying and trust me even Will had noticed. Think about it JJ and congratulations on the wedding regardless of your choice is your wedding and we are happy for you.” Reid stopped there dancing and winked walking away

“Wait Spencer.” JJ called out

“Yes?” Spencer quirked an eyebrow

“What do you mean and when did you learn to dance so well?” JJ’s voice was soft

“Just giving my best friend advice and Richard taught me.” Spencer gave JJ a wide grin and a knowing wink before walking away

  
That last part didn’t click to JJ right away until now the tone of pure fondness Spencer used when he said the name and when it clicked her eyes widen in realization that this Richard guy might be someone Spencer was dating but JJ didn’t knew Spencer way gay since she seen him show interest in girls too so that meant he was bisexual but that last part wasn’t what was in her head it was the entire conversation and when she looked around for Emily she couldn’t find her but before she could even go looking for her. Her mother and Garcia had shoved her in a car with Will sending her off.

*************************************************************************

The Next Day

JJ snuck out of the hotel dressed in casual and ran off. The entire night her mind was on Emily but unfortunately she had to focus for an hour on Will. Usually she can get off fine with him but last night she found herself faking it for her husband's sake. Thankfully he was no profiler and JJ was a pretty good actress and he didn’t tell a difference. She felt guilty for doing that on her honeymoon night but she did say she wasn’t up for it but not wanting to ruin it for him.

  
JJ got in her car thinking about Emily, she had asked last night about her but no one had seen her so she had called Emily’s phone but it was off. Today JJ called a few more times but it was off again and became even more worried JJ left a note to Will letting him know she’ll be back.

  
JJ drove as quickly as she could to Emily’s apartment. She wondered why Emily would walk out in the middle of her wedding like that, it wasn’t like Emily and she wondered why. JJ knew she was a coward and chose the easy way out and regretted it. Reid’s words sunk in and she realized he knew about JJ’s relationship with Emily so that means he knew something more and he was expecting her to choose Emily. 

  
JJ ran out of her car and inside JJ’s apartment building and up the stairs JJ stopped at Emily’s apartment door and knocked frantically but no one answered. Now that JJ thought about it Morgan gave her the same look and felt dread that they knew that she didn’t. 

  
“EMILY.” JJ shouted, knocking violently at the door feeling more dread.

  
JJ wiggled the doorknob to find that it turned. Unlocked? JJ thought confused and barged in knowing it wasn’t like Emily to leave her door unlocked. JJ didn’t even think of the potential danger she rushed in the apartment calling out to Emily. JJ ran in the dark apartment looking everywhere.

  
“EMILY.” JJ called looking from room to room finding no one except an empty apartment it looked as it was abandoned. As if Emily never lived there. JJ’s eyes widened and suddenly felt a wave of nausea at the thought. She felt the air getting knocked out of her lungs.

  
“No.” JJ gasped and ran into Emily’s closet yanking the door open finding it empty. “Noooooo.” was all that left JJ’s lips sounded like a broken whimper

  
JJ searched all of Emily’s apartment to find Emily’s belongings gone; nothing was left; it was as if she never even lived there. A broken sob escaped JJs lips at the realization and it all made sense. The phone calls and Emily brushing off the question when Reid asked, Emily being distant towards her, the smile yet JJ knew it was faked the heartbreak that flashed in Emily’s eyes at the reception party when she was dancing with Will and again at the ceremony. Everything hit JJ and she crumbled broken sobs escaping her lips followed by heavy regrets and realization now Reids words made sense. JJ fell on Emily’s bed curling herself into a ball crying inconsolably. 

  
“Emily…….I should have chosen you…..now it is too late.” JJ sobbed crying her body shaking with every sob, “I love you Em please come back. What have I done...I choose you Em….” JJ sobbed

  
She chose Will because she knew she did but her heart was with Emily and JJ knew she was the reason Emily left and she didn’t know when she’ll come back or if she’ll come back. JJ knew she had made a mistake.

JJ laid there for what seemed like hours crying thinking about the what if and how happy she was with Emily and more importantly how she blew it due to her fears. JJ’s phone ran suddenly startling. JJ’s struggled to stop crying, taking deep breaths after a bit handling her emotions. She picked it up hoping it was Emily but her heart sank when it was Will who was calling. She answered and sighed telling him she’ll be right there hanging up. A fresh wave of tears fell curling herself into a ball again ignoring her now husband in favor of laying there crying over the loss and heartbreak she felt at the realization that the woman she loved was gone.

  
“You didn’t even say goodbye.” JJ whimpered sobbing. JJ grabbed on to the covers sobbing uncontrollably over having lost her best friend and the woman she truly loved. The once warm lively apartment now felt cold and empty the sounds of JJ's sobbing echoing on the eerily silent apartment a constant reminder that Emily is truly gone and JJ now realizing the mistake she made and not able to take back.


End file.
